The-Day-Before-Christmas Morning

I just woke up with the most annoying headache ever. Besides me was a bottle of carbonated mineral water. Not my brand, but, being thirsty as i was, took a sip. The fuck, that’s no water, it’s plum brandy. And, judging by the burn sensation down my esophagus, I’ll take a wild guess and say it’s double distilled. Gruesome!

Anyway, I had no idea where I was. Time to check the premises. Laptop on the desk, pack of Luckies (I remember that), couple of mobile phones, some cash and a sheet covered in blood. Also, a shitload of stuff scattered around the room. Nasty thing to have an adrenaline kick as first morning impression. I managed to find a bathroom, it was just around the corner.

A blue hard toothbrush in a yellow encasing was floating in the sink. Yeah, that’s mine. Brushed my teeth, splashed a handful of ice-cold water over my face. It was then when I noticed the blood pouring off of my face. The nasty cut on my forehead extended through the hairline and ran all the way to the back of the head. That explains the bloody sheet and the headache, but what about the fact that the sheet was put to dry on the heater? Was someone else in the room with me? Who hit me? And what’s with this nerve-racking amnesia?

Who am I? And why am I writing this?